Project Beauty

Most days my hair ends up tossed in a pony tail. I'm lucky if I get my face washed in the morning and at night. And make up? Am I going anywhere? If yes, then I do the basics: foundation, powder, mascara. If no, I brush my teeth and call it good. And yet, just before Brandon comes home, I find myself in the bathroom, touching up my hair so it looks presentable. Putting on make up if it didn't make it to my face that day.

That's my daily routine. And the joke of it all is on those days when forces of nature (i.e. my two boys) prevent me from doing much more than that pony tail and a clean face, those are the days when I get extra compliments from my husband. Usually I just wave them off. Give him an unconvinced thank you. Expressing silent gratitude that I have a husband who doesn't notice all that I do when I look in the mirror. Yet he continues on, with the most sincere face I've ever seen, telling me that he thinks I look most beautiful with no make up.

To that I reply, "How can you say that? You fell in love with me when my hair was always down in curls. My make up was always done." He shrugs his shoulders and says again that I look beautiful.

What is beauty? I looked it up. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition of:

beau·ty

 noun \ˈbyü-tē\

: the quality of being physically attractive

: the qualities in a person or a thing that give pleasure to the senses or the mind

: a beautiful woman

So last weekend when he left out of town for a work trip, I decided to prove him wrong. The boys were playing surprisingly well on their own in their room. So I got to work. Setting up my tripod and camera. And took a picture of every stage when I get ready for the day. So pride aside, here they are:

And I discovered I can't prove him entirely wrong. While yes I think that Stage 1 is a more frightful sight, can I call myself not beautiful? No. I can't. Do I like an evened skin stone in Stage 2 better? YES! And do I like the eye enhancement from Stage 3? Yes. From then on, the blush, lipstick, the curls. Sure a nice touch for pictures. Do I think them necessary for beauty? No.

So I couldn't prove Brandon completely wrong. I don't think I was completely wrong either. But I think how I define beauty in myself has been completely warped.

Before this whole process, I thought my beauty only came in Stage 6. No, my self-esteem is not low. And I'm not posting this in search for self-affirming comments that I'm beautiful. I AM trying to prove that there is beauty in all of us, no matter the stage of primping.

As I reread through this all so familiar Young Women's theme this morning, a recurring thought came into my mind. That beauty is not just an outer quality. That beauty can come from within. What more beauty is there than a daughter of God who lives all of those Young Women values.

Young Women Theme 

WE ARE DAUGHTERS of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him. WE WILL “STAND as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places” (Mosiah 18:9) as we strive to live the Young Women values, which are:

Faith • Divine Nature • Individual Worth • Knowledge • Choice and Accountability • Good Works • Integrity • and Virtue

WE BELIEVE as we come to accept and act upon these values, WE WILL BE PREPARED to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.

That is the root of beauty. The roots of happiness.

And all the people who have told me I am beautiful in my life, I hope have been seeing that. I just need to choose to see that portion of beauty too when I look in the mirror. To recognize the beauty our Father in Heaven recognizes in me. That my own children show me. When my near four year old son turns to me in the morning and says, "Mom, you are so beautiful." The giant good night hugs my near two year old gives me accompanied with mounds of giggles.

"There is beauty all around, when there's love at home." (Love at Home, Hymn 294)

And that is the beauty that matters to me most.